


Future Imperfect

by LdyAnne



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Angst, Episode Related, Episode: s04e20 The Last Man, Established Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-12
Updated: 2012-08-12
Packaged: 2017-11-12 00:31:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/484635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LdyAnne/pseuds/LdyAnne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes saying goodbye is the hardest thing to do.  Spoilers for any and all of season 4.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Future Imperfect

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the McShep Match, for the Away Team. My prompt was One for the Road. Thanks to chocolatephysicist for betaing. Any mistakes remaining are my own because I fiddle.

It wasn't even dawn yet when John climbed out of their bed for his last run. Rodney kind of stirred beside him and puffed an air kiss against his temple when John whispered in his ear that he was going. Then he turned back over and burrowed deeper into the pillows.

Rodney was naked in the bed with his ass thrust up a little, almost like an invitation to John to come back to bed. John was sorely tempted, but he wanted to take one last run on their island before he went back to Atlantis. After he got back he and Rodney would still have a little while before he had to leave. If John got his way, they'd spend it in bed.

He pulled on his running shorts and tennis shoes, not bothering with a shirt since they were the only two people on the island. He lingered at the door taking one last look back at Rodney, all sleepy and rumpled, before he stepped out of their house into the predawn twilight. The sun was just a glimmer on the horizon, but there were a few stars still shining down to light his way. Not that he needed them. He and Rodney had explored the island thoroughly over the years, finding all of its hidden and secret places. He knew every step of the island.

He took a deep breath of the salty sea air, thinking of how much it reminded him of Atlantis. He really wanted to return to Atlantis, but he also didn't want to leave this, this time that he and Rodney had together. Soon everything would change and he couldn't do anything about that, but he'd always remember their time here together.

There really wasn't much to the island, just sand and sea. But he'd been happy there, for the first time in a long time.

He took off at an easy pace, enjoying the gentle breeze as it blew in off the ocean. He stopped at the pool where he and Rodney went skinny dipping upon occasion; it was still and serene without even a ripple to mar the surface. He ran up the hiking trail that had a drop off with a gorgeous view of the ocean. It had taken some convincing to get Rodney up the trail with him, complaining all the way. But they'd stayed at the top and made love all day. He ran up the beach where they'd spent a lot of time. Rodney always complained about the sun while John surfed. He smiled because they'd spent many nights on the beach, making love with the stars shining overhead. Then he was looping back around to come up on their house on the other side.

He didn't cut his run short, but he might have run just a little faster than he normally did as he saw their house again, feeling the press of time against him. Remembering Rodney with his ass in the air. Knowing that it was all going to end soon.

He got back to the house just as the sun was rising over the ocean. Fingers of light were spreading across the water to herald the day; the sky was a glorious meld of pinks and purples, it was a perfect sunrise. It was the same as every day before it, but John felt like it was especially beautiful this morning because it was the last time he was going to see it.

He slipped back into the bedroom, quietly toeing off his sneakers. He paused at the window to gaze out over the ocean one last time. The sun continued in its inexorable rise throwing a golden glow over the land. It was just another day in paradise.

He looked back at Rodney still asleep in their bed and had to smile. Rodney had somehow thrashed around once John was gone. Now he was sideways in the bed with his feet hanging off the edge. The golden light was just flowing into the room, so Rodney was still lying in shadow, the lines and planes of his body shaped in shadow and silhouette.

Even after all the time they'd been together, John loved everything about Rodney. He loved the way his mouth crooked up on the side when he smiled. He loved the way his hands flew through the air whenever he was talking. He loved the smug smirk Rodney got when he knew he was right, and the way he rocked back on his heels in glee.

It was their last hour together. Soon he'd be going back to Atlantis. And whatever else happened, this time would be at an end.

He went back to the bed, leaning over Rodney, just barely kissing him. He let his lips ghost over Rodney's. Rodney stirred, but didn't wake, his mouth parting a little under John's.

John stretched out next to Rodney. He smoothed a hand down Rodney's side, loving the feel of his skin and the way Rodney arched up into his touch.

"You're not asleep." John leaned down and kissed him again. This time Rodney kissed back, opening his mouth wide and inviting John in. They lay there a long time just making out, enjoying each other's company, until sunlight flooded the room. By that time, they were both shaking and gasping.

Rodney was already naked and he huffed impatiently at John, "Come on," pulling on John's running shorts. Not wearing a shirt when he ran also made undressing a lot easier when he went back to bed.

Rodney kissed his way down John's body, mapping John's ribs with his tongue, squeezing a nipple with his fingers.

"You don't know how long I wanted to do this," he whispered into John's skin.

John was panting and doing his best to not just push Rodney on his back and sink down on his cock. He retained enough brain cells to ask, "Why didn't you? Before I mean?"

He cursed at himself when Rodney stopped what he was doing to lean back on his heels and stare up at John in astonishment. "Are you kidding? You're the military commander of Atlantis. How was I to know you'd like this?" Rodney bent down and bit the crease between thigh and groin.

John moaned and shifted trying to get Rodney's mouth to his cock. But Rodney was stubborn. It was one of his more irritating traits.

Rodney glared up at him, "You had glowy sex with an Ancient Priestess." He said it like it explained everything.

"Rodney," John moaned, his hips thrusting into the air trying to get some kind, any kind, of friction. "There was no sex involved with the Ancient Priestess. And there's precious little here. God, please." He was past caring that he was begging.

Rodney smirked, that wicked smirk that said that he wasn't done torturing John yet. John both hated and loved that smirk. "Oh, you were all about the Ancient Priestess, John. You were practically salivating." Before John could protest his innocence in the matter, Rodney licked a stripe up the underside of his dick, his tongue caressing the head, "How was I to know that you liked this?" It was the most amazing thing ever, and yet Rodney was gone right after.

"Fuck, Rodney, stop teasing," was all John could get out.

"I still have time," Rodney said, crawling back up his body. "What if I want to just keep you in bed, torturing you slowly?"

As much as John hated that plan, he really, really liked that plan. He just wasn't going to tell Rodney that. "If you don't fuck me now, I'm going to get up and go do something on the other side of the island. You'll be here all by yourself." John knew he'd gone too far even as the words fell out of his mouth.

Rodney's mouth turned down and he pulled away a little. "You wouldn't do that, would you?"

John reached out and wrapped his arms around Rodney, pulling him down on top of him, letting Rodney blanket his body. He loved the weight of Rodney on top of him, the way he had to really work to thrust up into him. "No, god, no, I wouldn't. I was kidding. You know that. After all you've done for me. After all you've done for Atlantis."

"So, is that what this?" Rodney pushed himself up, away from John, holding his weight up on his arms. "Just a 'thanks for the memories' fuck before you go back to Atlantis and leave me here alone?" Rodney moved away to sit against the headboard with his knees pulled up and his arms hugged around them. He was drawn up into a huddled, miserable ball.

"No," John scrambled after him. "No, Rodney. I wish you could go with me. I'd give anything if you could go back with me." He tugged Rodney over to rest against him, rubbing soothing circles on his back.

"I'm afraid, John," Rodney confessed, his face pressed into John's chest. "I don't know what's going to happen once you're... you know. Gone. I'll be alone."

"I know. I'm afraid, too. I mean, what am I going to do without this?" John cupped Rodney's cheek and gently turned his face until he could kiss him. It was gentle and slow and sweet. It made John ache all the way to his toes.

Rodney kissed him back just as gently until it wasn't anymore, until it was wild and desperate like it was the last time they were ever going to kiss. Because it was.

Rodney pushed John on his back. John went willingly, letting his legs fall apart. He needed to have this one last time if he was going to go back to Atlantis without Rodney. He needed the memory of their time together if he was going to be able to do what he needed to do.

Rodney took his time opening John up. And John loved it so much, feeling Rodney inside of him, his fingers caressing John in a way no one else ever would. He'd never been with a man before Rodney, and right now, he didn't think he'd ever want to be with anyone ever again once he left. Too soon, and not soon enough, Rodney pulled his fingers out of John's body. He leaned down to kiss John as he slowly pushed his way into John's body.

John strained up to meet him, needing every kiss, every sensation; he had to have it all.

Rodney paused once he was all the way in, just looking down at John.

"John... I," he started. There was sadness in his eyes and John wouldn't have it.

"No, Rodney, this time is for us. I don't care what came before. I don't care what happens next. Here it's you and me. I love you. You understand that? Now move."

Rodney did, with a lazy roll of hips, just a little motion in and out. John pushed up against him. He didn't want slow and lazy. He wanted hard and fast. He wanted to feel it later. He wanted to remember it when he was back in Atlantis.

"Rodney," John gasped out. He didn't have the words to ask for more, but Rodney knew what he wanted. Rodney always knew what he needed. Rodney reached between them and wrapped his fingers around John's cock, letting his thumb caress the tip, spreading around the fluid there.

"Yes, Rodney," John moaned as Rodney fisted John's cock, pulling it in time with his thrusts, in and out, again and again.

Too soon the waves of pleasure crested over him and carried John to the other side. Everything whited out as Rodney continued thrusting, desperately seeking his own release.

When John could breathe again, Rodney was lying at his side, fingers combing through his hair.

"You know, I always wondered... before... if your hair did this naturally," his mouth twisted into a crooked parody of a smile.

John caught his fingers and kissed them. "Rodney, don't."

"It's time, you know," Rodney said sadly, wrapping his arms around John. "I don't want to let you go."

"Are you sure?" He'd hoped for just a little time more before he had to say goodbye.

Rodney smiled sadly. "Genius." His voice was sad and small.

"Okay," John kissed him one last time. "Do I have time for a shower?"

Rodney rolled his eyes. "It's kind of pointless, don't you think?" Rodney kissed him again.

 _One for the road_ , John thought, trying to memorize the way Rodney's lips felt, the stroke of his tongue, the way he tasted.

"I did it all for you," Rodney whispered as it all faded away – Rodney, the house on the beach, the sound of the waves.

John opened his eyes to find himself standing in the alcove on the future Atlantis. It was so sudden that he stumbled a little.

Rodney was there, the aged Rodney, and he reached out as if to catch John. But John couldn't touch him anymore. Not even to say goodbye. He balled up his hands in frustration, wanting to hit something.

Rodney was talking, but it took John a minute to hear his words. John was caught up staring at Rodney's mouth as it moved-shaping consonants, forming vowels and words spilled out. He wished they were back in the virtual reality and he could kiss Rodney one more time. Just once more.

"Well, it wasn't as bad as I thought it might be. You've only been here 700 years, give or take. Funny, you've aged a little but you still look good..." Rodney trailed off and they stared at each other.

Neither one of them quite knew what to say now that the time had come. Neither one wanted to be the first to say the words. To say good bye.

"Thank you," John said at last. It was so inadequate for what Rodney had given him, for what Rodney had done to save them all.

John was certain that he would have died 48,000 in the future with no way to escape from the planet and the ocean a desert around him. Oh, he would have tried to soldier on for awhile, but he was pretty certain that sooner rather than later he would have walked out into the desert to see if he could find anyone else on the barren wasteland of a planet and ended up as a pile of bones bleached by the sun. Rodney had saved him. Rodney had saved them all. Again.

When John had first opened his eyes in the virtual reality to find Rodney standing there in front of him, not the aged version of Rodney McKay looking disturbingly like Mr. Rogers in his sweater, but the 30 plus version, the vital Rodney that John knew, John couldn't help himself. He had reeled Rodney in and kissed him.

"Are you going to tell me?" Rodney asked. For once his face was totally unreadable. Maybe it was something that Rodney had programmed into his hologram.

"What about Jennifer?" John knew that he wanted to be with Rodney in the past more than anything. But he wanted Rodney to be happy, too. If he was going to be happier with the life with Jennifer that had been cut short the first time around, John wasn't going to stand in the way.

Rodney's eyes lost focus, his gaze turning inward, remembering a different time. "I loved her." There was wonder in his voice, the kind of wonder he usually reserved for Ancient devices and really big explosions. And John.

John sucked in a breath. Yeah he wanted Rodney to be happy and he meant it. But he'd be happy for him tomorrow. Today it hurt like hell.

Then Rodney added, "But John, I loved you first."

He continued on before John could say anything else, "You've got to hurry. It's gotten pretty hot here. Your solar power idea worked and the systems are all running okay for now, but I don't want to have to keep things going at full for long. The sooner you're back in Atlantis, the sooner the time line is back the way it belongs."

"Yeah, okay," John said as he stepped out of the alcove. It was extremely weird; he might have spent 700 or more years standing in that alcove, but it had only felt like a few short months with Rodney in the VR.

It was a little hard to wrap his head around. He was going back to an Atlantis that he almost couldn't remember. Whatever happened, it was going to be different, that was certain.

"Rodney," he started, there were so many words he needed to say. He just had no idea how to say them.

Rodney stopped him. "John, just go. Maybe I'll see you around sometime." He leaned in and John imagined he could feel ghostly lips on his before Rodney phased out.

"Tick, tock, Sheppard, the past waits on no man," Rodney said into his ear by way of the radio that John still wore. "Hm... I guess maybe it does at that."

John squared his shoulders as he headed for the control room.

He was ready to take on the past.

And maybe, find his future.

End Notes:

Yes, it is a tag for The Last Man, I just thought it spoiled the mystery if you knew that before you read the story.


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